Addicted to Books? You Might Be…

One of the bibliobibuli. This is the neatest word I’ve learned this year, and it’s so much fun to say.

Bib-leo-bib-oolee. BIB LEO BIB OOLEE.

Sorry, where was I?

It’s a plural noun, and there doesn’t seem to be a singular form. If we apply Latin rules, then the singular could be bibliobibulus (masculine) or bibliobibula (feminine).

Despite this fun-to-say polysyllable word that describes many of us word nerds, librarians, writers, and recreational readers, you might want to stick with bibliophile, with its Greek roots meaning “lover of books.” The term bibliobibuli was invented by H. L. Mencken in 1957, who thought such high regard for the written word – to the point of obliviousness to reality – must be an externally influenced disorder like alcoholism. Part of his definition even says, “drunk on books,” and he claims we see nothing and hear nothing in our haze.

Quite unhealthy, your reading addiction. Such a habit must be extinguished at once!

What he doesn’t realize is that we see and hear more than the average person.

He was probably mad because his wife was becoming smarter. Or perhaps, like some of us, he enjoyed creating new words and saw a “reading epidemic” that required a name. Either way, the next time someone asks, “What’s wrong with you?” just say:

“I’m bibliobibulic. Bib-leo-bib-oolic. And yes, it’s very contagious.”

Source:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bibliobibuli

Today’s deviant ditty:

“Bow to the Ego” by Trillium (Amanda Somerville)

So, You Want to Write a Ghost Story

So do I. But how do you do what’s been done? The Others, The Awakening, The Conjuring, Insidious, et cetera, et cetera. With so many films covering the subject, why bother writing? Who would read it?

Yes, it’s cliché. But that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to fail. Every cliché was once a novel, profound thought. Professors will tell you to avoid clichés because overuse has caused them to lose their impact. This is very true. The key is not to avoid them, however, but to make them new again.

So, this is our cliché: a ghost, haunting, people screaming in fear.

WHY?

If you can answer that question, and it’s different from other stories, you have something.

WHY did the dead person die? WHY is he/she haunting the person/place? WHAT does he/she want? WHERE do they want/need to go to achieve peace or revenge? Handle your ghost the same way you’d handle your other characters, albeit with considerably less dialogue. Of course, the reader isn’t going to know these answers right away; pacing is part of the mystery.

Start with choosing your ghost type. Customary spirit unable to move on due to unfinished business? Fine, but don’t be afraid to complicate it more. Maybe she’s a banshee screaming at men in their sleep because her husband killed their child.

Make your own mythology. You don’t have to stick with the Christian Heaven and Greek Hades. Try combining supernatural creatures with ghosts. Perhaps your wraith is a dead elf from an alternate dimension who is greatly offended by what humans have done to this one. If you think about it, “The Mummy” is a ghost story using Egyptian mythology. And it is full of awesome.

Even better – give it an underlying message. What is your theme? What do you want to change in the world? For example, in the Middle East there exists a practice called honor killing. If a woman walks alone in the street, if she’s seen talking to an unrelated man, if she allows herself to be raped (I’m not kidding), if she is seen doing anything that might dishonor her family [read: father / husband / brother], her male relatives are permitted to stone her. There is little to no penalty for this act of violence.

Have the dead woman haunt the husband and brother than killed her. Is she angry? Does she want them to die, too? Or is she trying to send them a message to change their hearts?

There are plenty of ghost stories that haven’t been written yet, because there are plenty of human stories.

A list of ghosts from different cultures / mythologies to get you started:

Poltergeist – entwined to a location; moves / throws objects and attacks people

Spectre – supernatural representation of human or animal that has died (typical ghost)

Will o’ the wisp – faint blue light, often seen over water, mimics movement of observer

Apparition – faint outline of a human form, translucent, only appears for a fraction of a second

Doppelganger – ghost of a living person; an “evil twin,” seeing one’s double causes instant death

Duppy – wakens if a coin and glass of rum are thrown onto its grave; evil, causes illness by breathing on people; being touched by one will result in epileptic fits

Mumiai – Indian poltergeist; haunts the lazy and criminal

Bugaboo – Indian spirit, friendly; guards village against evil (not to be confused with the baby-oriented brand name)

Wendigo – Canadian spirit; half-human, half-animal; hides in forest and eats people

Umi Bozu – Japanese sea ghost; bald with enormous eyes; haunts sailors

Shojo – Japanese sea ghost, friendly; loves drinking and parties; has bright red hair and dances on the waves

Hantu Langsuir – small ghost with only a head and a tail; thirsts for blood (like a leech)

Toyol – a dead baby revived through a demonic ritual; green with red eyes; drinks blood; serves person who revived it

If you use “haunting” as a synonym for a demon’s activity on earth, there are even more classifications you can explore. Personally, I avoid that genre, since the answer to WHY is simply, “because it’s evil,” which is lazy and does not bode well for good writing. Try to create a story that contains the possibility of whichever spirit you choose being put to rest. Yes, there can be a failure to achieve this (after all, humans are flawed at communicating with each other, let alone the dead), but give your ghost a real reason to act ghostly.

Sources and further information:

http://ghosts.monstrous.com/ghosts_around_the_world/

http://ghosts.monstrous.com/classification_of_ghosts/

Today’s deviant ditty:

“Transfer” by Collide

Phobias in Characters

I’ve recognized for a while now that I have infinitely more talent inventing names and words than I have actually developing a character’s personality traits. I hope by teaching, I’ll learn myself.

Amateur writers will base the protagonist on themselves – “I’m scared of spiders, so Portiana is scared of spiders.” This can help in the beginning, as you acknowledge different facets of your personality and recognize the character needs these as well. Also, your reader does not know you, so “Portiana” is unique in their eyes. The problem comes when you have multiple stories and all your protagonists are the same. This was my disease.

Any professor of writing will tell you to “go out and observe people” to get ideas for characters’ personalities. Well, that can backfire. Unfortunately, many individuals behave similarly in public – keeping to themselves or their social group, making the same repeated jokes with the clerks, buying the same food. (Although it is interesting to see what the person in front of you is buying. Sure, s/he might have run out of all that stuff at the same time, but speculation is the writer’s game. Using someone’s purchases can be a good exercise for a character’s likes / habits.)

One trait you likely won’t get from observing others is fear. The likelihood of someone being in a situation that makes him afraid is low – people normally avoid their fears. However, knowing the things your characters fear can help you shape their behavior, even affect the places they tend to frequent and the people they associate with.

A list of phobias will get you started. There are hundreds of irrational fears out there, usually stemming from a traumatic childhood experience (ah, there’s backstory as well!). Well-known phobias include arachnophobia (fear of spiders), claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces), and agoraphobia (fear of being humiliated or helpless in public). A large number of people have a fear of heights, or rather, the fear of falling from heights (acrophobia).

It’s better not to go too mainstream with the fear, because you don’t want to rehash the same old clichés, but don’t go too off-kilter either unless your story centers on the fear. If your character wants to learn how to fly a plane, his/her lutraphobia (fear of otters) is irrelevant. If your character wants to work at the aquarium and one of her duties is to feed the mammals, then lutraphobia will affect her ability to do so.

My current short story centers on my character’s phobia. It’s gotten to the point that she requires counseling. I’ve set it up so that the story vacillates between her current mindset and flashbacks to the sessions and to her childhood. Her fear is osmophobia (fear of smell) of vanilla, an ordinarily comforting smell. I loved the irony, and the metaphors practically wrote themselves from there.

The phobia does not need to be the focus of your story like it is in mine, but if you’re going to include one, it must help explain your character in the necessary context. It will not work if it is just an extraneous, “by the way” detail.  

Short article on phobias:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-507472/Scared--You-lutraphobic.html

Today's deviant ditty:

"Gathering Storm" by Eleine

A Mind of Their Own

I talk a lot about my love of writing, but the only writing of mine you've read is this blog. Today I decided to write something a bit off the cuff, as it were, in the form of a script. My friends and I often wrote like this in middle school during lectures (so naughty). We'd pick characters and pass the paper back and forth - a sketch RPG, so to speak. I'd forgotten how much fun it is.

A Mind of Their Own

by

The Scarred Bluestocking

Author: I’ve had an extremely tough day at work. My customers are rude, my insubordinates are insubordinate, and I’m just in a FOUL MOOD. It’s puppeteer time….

Character 1: Uh-oh. Everybody hide!

Character 2: But I don’t even know my name! She’s supposed to give us names!

Character 1: Just hide!

Character 3: Pfft, I’m not scared. She needs us or she wouldn’t have a story.

Character 1: Are you crazy?

Character 3: I FEAR NO DEATH.

Character 2: Please would you give me a name? I don’t want to die without a name! Please, oh glorious one with the magic fingers pressing out our lives on that many-buttoned surface!

Author: Oh, fine, if it will shut you up. Character 2, your name is Bluebell.

Bluebell: And if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, what do I look like? Is my hair luxurious and blonde and flowing? Please say it is.

Author: You’re a horse. A dapple-gray talking horse.

Bluebell: Darn.

Character 1: Oh good, now I can hide behind your rump.

Character 3: You pansy.

Character 1: How do you know my name and SHE doesn’t?

Author: Your name is not Pansy, you idiot. You’re a wussy boy and your name is Wicker.

Wicker: Please don’t tell me I’m a talking piece of furniture.

Author: I just said you were a boy. You’re eight years old and scared of everything. Your mother named you after Bluebell’s neigh. Whinny plus nicker.

Character 3: So, what, am I his daddy?

Author sighs, exasperated.

Author: Who cares who you are? You so bravely stepped forward, and by the trope rules of martyrdom, you die first.

Character 3: Tell them who I am so they can mourn me.

Author: You really aren’t scared?

Character 3: I die easy. All you have to do is type, “He died,” and I’m dead, aren’t I? No pain. And I’m immortal besides. Every time someone reads this episode from the top, I am reborn.

Author: Ah, was that your inspirational monologue? Typical. You hero types are all the same.

Character 3: You’re the one writing.

Author: Wisecracker, are we? Well, you’re not his father. You think you’re a man, but you are a tall, thin woman. Wicker’s older sister, Winifred.

Winifred: Really? You’re making me a girl?

Author: But you always were.

Winifred: I protest!

Author: Well, you are going to die. Does that solve your problem?

Bluebell sticks her head between Author and Winifred.

Bluebell: I need more page time.

Author: Oh, go eat some hay.

Bluebell: Onto my back, Winifred! We shall escape yet!

Wicker: Wait! Wait for me!

Bluebell and Winifred make for the margins, Wicker barely holding on to Bluebell’s tail.

Author: Mutiny. Get back here!

Bluebell: I run and run and run and run and gallop and canter and gallop and run….

Winifred: Shut up and do it.

Author: No!

GREAT HAND SMASH

W   r       r h  o l w

 S    f                                   h  j o e                     w    f

                       V n       s                              d

G               d d   fbds         

                                                d                                                        ad   n

          O         p                            s d                                        

                                                  w o    n                   w    

Bluebell: Ow.

Author: No, no, no. Bluebell was supposed to live. 

Bluebell: My shoulder….

Winifred: No look at what you’ve done. You have no business writing if you can’t even kill the right character.

Wicker: Bluebell? Poor horsey.

Author: Screw this.

DEUS EX MACHINA: A friendly white ray breaks off from the sun and floats down, all magic-like, resting on Bluebell’s shoulder. When the ray disappears, Bluebell’s wound does as well.

Author: There.

Winifred: So, after that unnecessary detour, why haven’t you offed me yet?

Wicker: Don’t kill my sister!

Winifred: Shut up, pansy.

Author: I will kill you. Though I wonder why you want to die?

Winifred: I’m an obnoxious nincompoop who is rude to her brother, cares nothing for this horse, and is giving you lip. Obviously, I’m the death choice.

Author: And if I kill Wicker?

Wicker: I told you we needed to hide!

Winifred: I won’t let you.

Author: How can you stop me? You forget my hands are creating you as you speak.

Winifred: We’ll see about that.

Author: If you stop me, you’ll be a mute for the rest of your life.

Winifred: I’ll learn ASL.

Author: Good luck being seen.

Winifred: I’m done with this.

Winifred whispers to her brother and Bluebell. Author cannot hear and is infuriated.

Author: I’m supposed to know your thoughts, you Hell-bound witch!

A spark erupts from the keys as she types the exclamation point.

Author: OW!

Winifred: You were saying?

Author: Winifred, sadly, has left this wor—OW.

Winifred: Try again.

Author: Wicker will soon cry a torrential downpour when he sees the body of his sis—OW!

Winifred: Keep trying, please.

Author: Winifred is dea—MOTHERF….

Winifred: I told you, I am IMMORTAL. Placing me onto these pages has ensured that. What are you but my mortal creator? And you have created me. You can’t take it back.

Author: Aha, but you don’t know about the Backspace key.

Winifred: You don’t know what I know.

Author looks at keyboard – the Backspace key is missing. So is the Delete key.

Author: Uh-oh.

Lightening erupts from all the keys. Author screams in pain as she types the last sentences.

Winifred: I win.

Author: You…win. I need…some ice.

THE END

Today's deviant ditty:

"Center of the Sun" by Conjure One feat. Poe